Jehovah's Witnesses

[RandomPerson]

I figured since we have a Mormon thread going on, I'd get a Jehovah's Witnesses one going. Now, I don't know how everybody feels about them, but I have a bit of a negative outlook on them. Don't get me wrong; I am perfectly fine with people's beliefs as long as it's not really radical. Yet, they're just as bad as the Mormon's when it comes to the door to door business. I've been home when they came knocking, and seriously, the guy wouldn't leave until my mother had said she was late for a doctor's appointment (the guy came back later that week). I really can't stand people who try to preach and convince people to join their faith. You should keep your beliefs on religion and faith to yourself unless you are asked.

[Brains_Behind_Operation]

I'm in a house that's considered a part of the 'Historic District' of the neighborhood, with plenty of old folks living in many of the houses around. This seems to be a prime target for the Jahova's Witnesses/Mormons and so forth. I guess they're hoping that the older people know their time is comming and that they still need to find the right religion. So I've had plenty of these type knocking at my door. Not to say that they shouldn't be preaching their beliefs, but they really need to realize when people aren't interested, no matter how nicely they say no, and just leave before you show them the intrinsique design on the interior of the barrel from your shotgun.

[freakazoid]

I'm in a house that's considered a part of the 'Historic District' of the neighborhood, with plenty of old folks living in many of the houses around. This seems to be a prime target for the Jahova's Witnesses/Mormons and so forth. I guess they're hoping that the older people know their time is comming and that they still need to find the right religion. So I've had plenty of these type knocking at my door. Not to say that they shouldn't be preaching their beliefs, but they really need to realize when people aren't interested, no matter how nicely they say no, and just leave before you show them the intrinsique design on the interior of the barrel from your shotgun.

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/9923/mormon0721059ql.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

My medthod works pretty damn well! ...open the door in a jock strap (colorful ones work great!), smelling like stale beer, fart, sneeze in their faces while offering them a slice of cold pizza as you ask them to come in and finish watching the porn movie you have on the tube :eek: ...works every time! :D

PS, the shotgun medthod doesn't hurt to use either!

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7727/knuckledblueballs5ot.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

*No, the above photo is not one of me.

[Korono]

You know...they do a lot more fucked up shit than come to your door. LIke the whole anti-iconographic philosophy which will eventually lead them to trash every icon they can get there hands on, even if it means going into churches, again.

[freakazoid]

You know...they do a lot more fucked up shit than come to your door. LIke the whole anti-iconographic philosophy which will eventually lead them to trash every icon they can get there hands on, even if it means going into churches, again.
Damn good point, they do indeed.

[vulcan]

Soon as you do something like this, they erase your name from the 144,000 list are those the only one going to heaven so they know for sure you are not the one. In my case I was more "delicate" becasue it was an old old lady asking me to come in. I asked her yes sure you can come in in my house soon as you recognize Christ as the Lord. She never did, And she really had problems recognizing Christ as the Lord. And she stated"I had bee an J.W. for 21 years" and then I stoped her and I asked here. So if you were a prostitute for 21 years thats make prostitution right or legal. And she said no. Then I asked her to leave.

[vulcan]

Congratulations this was real funny

[willfuckyourmind]

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/9923/mormon0721059ql.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

My medthod works pretty damn well! ...open the door in a jock strap (colorful ones work great!), smelling like stale beer, fart, sneeze in their faces while offering them a slice of cold pizza as you ask them to come in and finish watching the porn movie you have on the tube :eek: ...works every time! :D

PS, the shotgun medthod doesn't hurt to use either!

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7727/knuckledblueballs5ot.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

*No, the above photo is not one of me.

Yo, freakazoid...


I recognize you!
From your avatar.


You cannot fool us, dude.
Replacing your turban
with a kerchief?
Sheesh.
You should have shaved.


Then your other clue...
you are wearing the jockstrap
you just described!

[insane1]

:eek: [FONT="Fixedsys"]OMFG! good subject when i was pregnant w/my daughter i had a Jehovah's Witness who came all the time . it was like she had radar of when i was & wasn't home . she was so damn persistant. she let me know i was going to stay living on earth after i died ( rencarnated ) so i let her know she was full of shit & the worms would be eating me daily as i lie there dead . she only came once after that & it was to say congradulations on the baby as well as would i like to buy some books . wtf? they never ever get the hint. i would hide & damn if she would still beat on the door.

[miss_scandinavia]

I have nothing agains J.V. but I do believe that some parts in their beliefs are really stupid, perhaps you guys didn't know or are well informed that J.V. don't believe in donating blood or organs. So I asked, when they recently paid me a visit, what they would do if their own son or daughter had a terrible accident and the only thing that would save him/her was if one of them would donate an organ, or else, this child would die. I don't remember getting a answer... But they left! :)

I apologize for bad writing, not my tounge...

[jonilaine]

Well everytime they come knocking on my door, I let them in, go find my bible, and start reading out loud to them. When they try to stop me I tell them very nicely that before I listen to their beliefs they must listen to mine. Works every time! ;)

[hkdbadreligion]

I think all the blacks in my area have scared all the J.W. away. Damn Guieros. I'll never get a chance to torment the J.W.'s.

[Paisleyspeaker]

My husband once open the door stark naked ( he thought it was me coming home and was half asleep) worked though they never bothered us at that address again. I have a friend that preaches the Goddess to them, and I know a man who won't let them do their thing until they pledge allegiance to the flag with them, they won;t but still stop to say "hi" every couple of weeks. I am usally patient with them , they truly believe what they do, is what they need to do to get into heaven. And while some of their beliefs are out there , tbey are right on the money with a few things. Like "Christian" holidays. Easter- it's the name of a pagan fertility goddess and the rabbit and egg are both moon symbols therefore feminine symbols, what could they possibly have to do with the resurrection of Jesus?

[General Septem]

Well everytime they come knocking on my door, I let them in, go find my bible, and start reading out loud to them. When they try to stop me I tell them very nicely that before I listen to their beliefs they must listen to mine. Works every time! ;)
What is it, a Satanic bible?

[Rather Not Say]

I'm kinda mormon (I havn't gone to church in 2 years) but I never really understood why we went around and did that!

[Paisleyspeaker]

Mormonism, doesn't have the word of mouth of the older more established churches. You were advertising, selling faith door to door. And also trying to conteract the more radical ex-members like the poligamists of New Colorado City.

[rightfromtheheart]

Just to let you know that Jehovahs witnesses do not knock on doors because they believe that they will go to heaven for doing it. They do it because they believe in what they have heard and want to share it with people. they spend hours upon hours a week trying to share this information selflessly, and sometimes in quite intimadating situatons.
They do not believe in going to heaven, they believe that they will live on a paradise earthand that there will be a select few that will go to heaven to rule over mankind with God. Now im not a Jehovahs witness and i dont study with them i have just researched what they believe. They lead their lives to what God tells them and they are not hypocrites, they are the
only religious group that ensures that Gods standards are kept. They don't beg for money when there hall roofs are falling down, they are independent people. So please, yes its funny and hilarious and we all like to talk about the things that we do to them. But the question is do you slate them and ignore them because you instantly think "oh i could never knock on doors and talk about God"?:( if so you never know if they have anything valid to say.

[General Septem]

~~~~~~

only religious group that ensures that Gods standards are kept.
o rly.

[Paisleyspeaker]

Okay, it's not heaven they think they will get to, but they do truly believe in what they do, I said that. And they do try to live as close to the bible as they can ( like most groups they only drag out Liviticus in refrence to homosexuality, and not the dietary or other rules.) But it is not fair to say they are the only group that insures God's standards are kept. Other christian groups also try and keep those standards, they may look at it diffrently, but all keep the ten commandments, and the seven sins. Some even add extra dogma and guilt. The Witnesses have some points on the modren celebrations of christian holidays. Easter is the name of a goddess, and if you read the gospels closely and look at the agricultrual calander of that part of the year it really doesn't look like it could have been in December. And the existance of another holiday at the end of December. I know General that you will have something to say about that. Their whole thing about birthdays makes little sense. They are really not evil, just annoying. And very persistent.

[General Septem]

( like most groups they only drag out Liviticus in refrence to homosexuality, and not the dietary or other rules.)
Did you catch what I said in the other thread?

[Paisleyspeaker]

not yet, I'll go check it out.

[Brains_Behind_Operation]

The problem with Jehovah's witnesses is that they go around knocking on people's doors knowing very well that many people don't want to talk to them. They are therefor beligerantly bugging people, and they should realize it and find a better way to share their beliefs with the people who want to hear them.