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View Full Version : I hate spiders!!!


buttless_wonder
03-12-2006, 11:12 PM
They're starting to come in. Every year at this time it happens when the rainy season starts. I don't mind the orbweavers those things stay outside for the most part, it's the wandering spiders I hate with a passion. I'm talking about the black ones that are never in a web and can move fast. I had one walk over my bare foot as I was pouring a cup of coffee, I nearly shat myself, damn thing was as big as the palm of my hand. Here is a breakdown of just what happened once I realized there was a massive arachnid attempting to kill me.

1. drop coffee cup, scream like a 3rd grade girl, and shit self
2. take many deep breaths to regain composure
3. grab dish towel and move towards the beast
4. spider stops, and turns around as if to say "bring it on bitch"
5. shit self again
6. drop dish towel so it lands flat with the beast under the center of it
7. fall to knees and pound on dishtowel while screaming "DIE, DIE, DIE!"
8. get another cup of coffee
9. stomp the dishtowel some more
10. get rid of body
11. take 3 bong hits, so what if I smoke marijuana.
12. post this
beelzebub
03-13-2006, 08:40 PM
Fun to hold
http://www.petbugs.com/caresheets/gallery/H-carolinensis.jpg

fun to wear
http://www.hitthetrail.com/images/damon_tarantula.jpg


and fun to love...
http://www.fiona.co.jp/images/PICTURE_BOOK/KINDERGARTEN/BE_NICE_TO_SPIDERS.jpg
buttless_wonder
03-13-2006, 11:27 PM
I understand and respect the roll they fill, but not in MY house or on MY foot.
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-13-2006, 11:58 PM
Spiders? Seriously?? What's the big deal??? Very few spiders (if any) that you'll find scattering about your house are harmful to you, much less having the capacity to kill you. Granted, I don't care for the little invaders and make sure to get rid of them on sight, but there's never anything to worry about. You're hundreds of times their size and they only stand a chance of revenge if they just happen to be deathly poisonous; but even then they'd have to be both faster and craftier than you. You don't think that a Spider could outwit you, do you?

What you really need to watch out for is those mosquitos....I hear that salmonella poisoning can really be a bitch! :D
buttless_wonder
03-14-2006, 01:27 AM
Oh wow, you are the first to tell me it's an irrational fear. Thankyou for your wise words that will enable me to love the sweet little eight legged darlings.
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-14-2006, 09:06 AM
Well, in that case look at it like this: STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN PUSSY! Allowing youself to have such stupid little fears just adds stress and shortens your life.
buttless_wonder
03-14-2006, 04:58 PM
Well, in that case look at it like this: STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN PUSSY! Allowing youself to have such stupid little fears just adds stress and shortens your life.
Doesn't take much to reduce you to child like name calling, does it?
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-15-2006, 12:11 AM
Sometimes it's just better to reduce yourself to the other person's level. If you're going to have childish fears, then I have absolutely no trouble conducting childish namecalling. PUSSY!
beelzebub
03-15-2006, 11:27 PM
Sometimes it's just better to reduce yourself to the other person's level. If you're going to have childish fears, then I have absolutely no trouble conducting childish namecalling. PUSSY!


You are a real ass, often.
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-16-2006, 01:56 AM
You are a real ass, often.

Right back at ya. I like to have fun and criticize people just as much as you do. At least I can justify my criticisms while making them...DICK!:D
buttless_wonder
03-16-2006, 04:15 AM
Now if I told you I was affraid of cumquats, which is all that exists between your ears, your petty trolling might be understandable. This is a common irrational fear which means I do not know what it is rooted in. If I did I could deal with it.

Brains_Behind_Operation, you impress me as a very small person lacking any form of depth.

Will you be able to respond without name calling or is that your only form of communication?
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-16-2006, 02:12 PM
Brains_Behind_Operation, you impress me as a very small person lacking any form of depth.

Will you be able to respond without name calling or is that your only form of communication?[/SIZE][/FONT]

LOL! Yes, I can see that you are far above the condescending name calling! Not even a HINT of it in there......wait a second....."small person lacking depth"? That's an insult isn't it???

Just remove the diaper and let the insults fly, no reason to whine about it like a dumb little hypocrite.
buttless_wonder
03-16-2006, 02:29 PM
Where did I say I would not insult you?
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-16-2006, 02:40 PM
You didn't, but if you expect me to stop you shouldn't have started.
General Septem
03-16-2006, 02:52 PM
funt to wear
http://www.hitthetrail.com/images/damon_tarantula.jpg
Would that be you by any chance? It will be nice to have a face behind the incessant and pointless screaming. :D
beelzebub
03-16-2006, 11:17 PM
Would that be you by any chance? It will be nice to have a face behind the incessant and pointless screaming. :D

No, that is not me.... its a pic from a website. Look up "tarantula face" on google and you will find it.
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-17-2006, 01:11 AM
Well, we'll use that picture as an image of you anyways. Always better when you can put a face on what you're criticizing:D
buttless_wonder
03-17-2006, 02:35 PM
You didn't, but if you expect me to stop you shouldn't have started.
When did sarcasm become an insult? You might want to keep track of the conversation before inserting your foot in your mouth.
Keep on digging...
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-17-2006, 05:04 PM
Look at the top of the page...if there was nothing in that post that was meant as an insult, then you passed your message accross very poorly. Just accept that you're as much of a dumbass as the rest of us in here and start dishing out the insults instead of claiming that you are somehow better than everyone because you don't post your true feelings.
beelzebub
03-17-2006, 11:08 PM
Well, we'll use that picture as an image of you anyways. Always better when you can put a face on what you're criticizing:D

jee what a knee slapper!

Sure,... as long as we can use your avitar as a picture of you.
Brains_Behind_Operation
03-18-2006, 04:00 AM
that's what its there for!:D
Nobody
04-02-2006, 07:58 AM
Well, in that case look at it like this: STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN PUSSY! Allowing youself to have such stupid little fears just adds stress and shortens your life.
I don't think theres any sterss level. He said he hit a bong.
Brains_Behind_Operation
04-02-2006, 10:01 AM
I don't think theres any sterss level. He said he hit a bong.

He also said that he screamed like a 3rd grade girl. That shit just desn't happen without stress at its side.
beelzebub
04-02-2006, 01:00 PM
The jumping spider (most all of them)
http://www.mrx.no/albums/macro/Jumping_Spider.sized.jpg

and the Orb Weaver, Garden spider
http://www.holoweb.com/nature/spiders/images/Argiope_Aurantia_1.jpg
Nobody
04-03-2006, 08:12 PM
He also said that he screamed like a 3rd grade girl. That shit just desn't happen without stress at its side.
must have been over concentration on the bong, on my part.
willfuckyourmind
04-11-2006, 08:01 AM
Buttless_Wonder...
thank you for sharing
your freaked-out happenstance.


Spiders are actually our friends.
They feed on insects.
But your fear is not unfounded.
Just try not to let fear be your master.
You will have to conquer it though.
Which is not by smacking it.


But mosquitoes are a different matter altogether!
They are the bane of humankind.


Oh, beelzebub...
thank you for that very large photo
of that very pretty spider.