Tales of alignment [Archive] - Bullshit.com Forums

Pau Diaz

10-12-2009, 04:00 AM

I would like to take this opportunity to offer everyone here at bullshit.com a chance to write prose about a character who conforms to a particular alignment (From the Dungeons and Dragons RPG). To give either a link to the definitions or to stimulate your imaginations, I present them here.

Lawful Good
Neutral Good

Lawful Evil
Neutral Evil

Chaotic Good
Chaotic Neutral
Chaotic Evil

yee-haw

10-12-2009, 02:38 PM

Sorry pau, I'm not quite following you.:o

Pau Diaz

10-13-2009, 03:52 AM

I'll explain, no problem. The nine alignments all represent different attitudes in life and can help explain the natures of various characters, fictional and real. They highlight the important ways of doing things and how to relate to other people. If you google Easy Damus, all nine alignments are described in depth.

I'll illustrate with my own character:

Neutral Evil

Jenny loved her husband Ken because he was strong. A lawyer for Elliot Stephens and Co, his position granted him power he wielded like an axe. He lied to advance himself and harmed others to the same end. As a teacher of philosiphy, Jenny had no allegiance to anyone, believing the concept of sides to be unfair, only to herself. She was married to Ken because he had won her heart through strength of character and that he wanted to help better her career through his legal and moral support.

Since he was strong and did not aid the weak, she loved him. However the moment she found another man who was stronger than him, she would put Ken to the test by seeing if he could be more vital than the newcomer. Either through bringing them together secretly or persuading Ken to eliminate the man in question because he posed a threat, Jenny would decide which of the two she wanted when one or the other was dead or otherwise in jail. Whichever of the two proved to be more profitable for her, in terms of security and companionship.

To hold her love interest in Ken was only as good as Jenny found it useful. He had so far given her no reason to doubt him, but the moment he did, she would have to put him to the test. Jenny viewed her friends much the same way, as tools to further her end. To be partial to them would be like holding her back, binding herself to them like glue and having to suffer their one sided views of things. Alone, with regard to only herself, Jenny was truly a woman who could go far in life. No causes to hamper her view of things, no religion to follow other than the betterment of herself, Jenny was alive.

WhiteRaven

10-13-2009, 01:51 PM

You forgot a few.

Lawful Stupid
Chaotic Stupid
Stupid Good
Stupid Evil.
Stupid Neutral.

Lawful Stupid
James Analdickhead was a cop who felt that there was just too much evil in the world, all those jackasses who jaywalk and double park, and those jerks who steal cookies. Officer Analdickhead decided to do something about it, so one day he captured a jaywalker, took him to his basement and chained him up, then stabbed his sword into this evil criminal's arm and slowly cut it off, then hit the other arm repeatedly with a sledgehammer, then got a chainsaw and sliced off his legs piece by piece. Finally he hung the man on a building, satisfied with the respect for the law that he added to the world.
Unfortunately he ended up in the electric chair.

Pau Diaz

10-13-2009, 02:56 PM

Inventive and quite comprehensive.

yee-haw

10-13-2009, 03:42 PM

Sorry, Still not getting it pau.

Carrot

10-13-2009, 07:55 PM

Neutra good always paid for his shit, and he pointed out when people did whit wrong but never actually did shit to prevent the real shit from shitting all over the shit cause he was neutral good, not lawful good, even theough he waslawful he was still neutral cause he didnt really give a shit in the end.

Pau Diaz

10-14-2009, 04:17 AM

Sorry, Still not getting it pau.

I present you as an example of lawful good, Yee-Haw. Maybe this will help.

You created a thread to introduce yourself as a moderator and laid out some points to help others understand what they could do in this forum. You spoke about giving people a second chance, how you could be helpful to others who were being harassed, any concerns they had about the forum. You did not talk about how to be creatively abusive or find ways to degrade others. You spoke as an authority figure with respect to others and told them to be respectful in returh.

WhiteRaven

10-14-2009, 10:09 AM

Sorry, Still not getting it pau.

Only reason I got it is I know too many D&D nerds. But put simply, rather than just being good and evil, there is also chaos and order, so you have...

Lawful Good- a person who has great respect for the law and is truly benevolent

Lawful Neutral- Very strict about laws, with no concern for more spiritual morality.

Lawful Evil- Very strict about laws, but heartless and vicious towards people. Think Saddam Hussein, or hitler

Neutral Good- Only cares about helping others, with little concern for order.

True neutral- Could be just plain don't care, or it could be someone fixated on "maintaining the balance between good and evil."

Neutral Evil- Only cares about hurting others, with no concern for chaos or order. Think serial killer.

Chaotic Good- dishonest as hell, but wanting to help people anyway.

Chaotic neutral- utterly unpredictable, though not just as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it, as some idiots think.

Chaotic Evil- Think Joker from The Dark Knight.

yee-haw

10-14-2009, 12:23 PM

Oh, Ok... now i get it.

Pau Diaz

10-15-2009, 03:54 AM

So what kind of character can you invent using the knowledge of one of the nine alignments?

WhiteRaven

10-15-2009, 12:49 PM

Now I forgot the stupid alignments.

Lawful Stupid- "How dare you fail to heed a "keep off the grass" sign. TASTE STEEL FIEND!!

Chaotic Stupid- "I drop my pants and piss on the king"

Stupid Good- "that guy rampaging around the entire town killing everything isn't evil, he's just misunderstood, I bet if I talk to him, I can get him to be happy and good again."

Stupid Evil- DecipleofDarkness. Enough said.

Stupid Neutral- "I think I'll build an orphanage here, and then to make sure good and evil stay in balance, I'll burn down that other orphanage!"

Pau Diaz

10-15-2009, 02:03 PM

Actually I've come up with a list of the Chaotic Stupid commandments. How does it sound?

1. You shall not listen to others.

2 You shall pursue your endeavours even if proved wrong.

3. You shall talk excessively and without purpose.

4. You shall constantly interfere.

5. You shall have no sense of ridicule.

6. You shall be servile to those above you if it is convenient.

7. You shall not be able to express any original ideas.

8. You shall betray others who fall short of your expectations.

9. You shall be loud and cocky.

10. You shall resent in others the qualities you don't possess.

yee-haw

10-15-2009, 04:16 PM

beelzebub

10-15-2009, 07:54 PM

Well, You just described prometheus.

The same can be said of Freak, yet you all suffer him because your ideals lean towards his.

LedZap

10-15-2009, 08:17 PM

Hey ! I'm not suffering . :)

WhiteRaven

10-15-2009, 11:48 PM

The same can be said of Freak, yet you all suffer him because your ideals lean towards his.

Freakazoid never disrespected or disobeyed the mods when specifically asked or told to behave, the same can't be said of Prometheus.

Freakazoid never posted copy/paste shit in every section of the forum, the same can't be said of Prometheus.

Pau Diaz

10-16-2009, 03:56 AM

I wonder when Hercules will come to save Prometheus from the proverbial eagles pecking on his liver.

LedZap

10-16-2009, 03:29 PM

I wonder when Hercules will come to save Prometheus from the proverbial eagles pecking on his liver.

Never. The eagles will never stop. And every day Prometheus is healed in time for another nights liver fest of the eagles.

yee-haw

10-16-2009, 03:35 PM

The same can be said of Freak, yet you all suffer him because your ideals lean towards his.

Damn, Bub... just bullshittin' mang, Now i'm definitely going to challenge you to a drinking contest.:D

WhiteRaven

10-17-2009, 11:44 PM

Interestingly, Prometheus tricked Zeus and gave fire to humankind, then made so that all the gods got from sacrifices was fat, Zeus chained Prometheus to a rock for eternity, but changed his mind after realizing that the fat was delicious and they were getting assloads of it.

Unfortunately, Prometheus decided to remain a sandy asshole, and is now chained to the rock again.

Pau Diaz

10-18-2009, 04:20 AM

As the saying goes: the more they change, the more they stay the same.

WhiteRaven

10-19-2009, 12:51 PM

As the saying goes: the more they change, the more they stay the same.

Indeed, What I'm currently wondering is whether Zeus would be Septem, Hitek, or Yee-haw.

mshpgr506

10-26-2009, 11:27 PM

I like it in the butt

Pau Diaz

11-08-2009, 02:30 PM

Man, that dude must've been a real pain in the ass to get banned and have all his posts edited. Nice work Yee-Haw. I've learned the trick of editing someone elses posts to punish others on this forum and others from you well. Thanks alot for leading by example.

Controversy

12-19-2009, 03:39 PM

1.

Laura shifted on her side, unable to sleep because of how uneasy she felt over her husband's discontent. The bed felt lighter, less contracted due to the absence of weight on it. Laura reached out and felt around, not finding George in his place, nor could she feel his head in the pillow. He was standing by the window, gazing out into the pale moonlight, as if in a trance, his attention drawn to the moon that partly flooded the room through the now open curtains. Laura reasoned that he was trying to take his mind off something unpleasant. That was the way she had learned he used to cope with difficult issues. This was probably no exception.
"George, what is it?" George turned his head to her, not wanting to face her entirely, for the fear she might draw him back into her embrace and trap him in it. Such was his greatest fear now, one he couldn't face.
"The moon, it's so luminous tonight." Laura stood up and went to George. She put a hand around his waist and leaned her body into his.
"Come on, we can talk about this. Don't hide from it." George shifted uncomfortably. Laura was both compelling and repelling all at once.
"Can we, Laura? Would you listen to me?"
"If you're willing to honour me before yourself, yes."
"That's the problem. You only see yourself." George wanted to remove Laura hand, but knew that such an action would anger her. Despite how she loved him, Laura was only loyal to George because he was convenient for her, acted as a mental and spiritual provider. She cared for him only as much as he cared for her. Laura could never love him for his own sake.
"Now George, I can make you feel better. Just relax." Laura undressed him completely and then herself. She embraced him from behind and found his nerve endings with her finger tips. George felt his legs weaken as they told him he ought to relax and simply let the pleasure take over him. For her part, Melanie felt secure, joyous to have a mans back to make her breasts swell, her nipples harden and most importantly give her the power to control someone a foot taller, with twice more the strength than her.
"Sit down, I'll make the unease go away. I promise."
I. I. I. Laura said that word to George too much for his comfort. She regarded him in the second person, but only as a means to the end of controlling him.
"You want me to submit to you, Laura."
"Yes, don't you want me to when you go on top?"
"No, I don't do it for myself only."
"Hmm, I need to help you relax, come on, let me help you." George complied, but only because he knew that Laura's gentle touch could quickly become razor like claws that could dig into his flesh and scar it in places. Melanie found the back of his neck and stroked it, both seeking pleasure for herself and thinking about how she would tear into his governing vessel if he were to turn on her now, considering as she always did when they were this close how to put George out of his misery if he became indifferent to her.
"Let go of your fears, George. They'll only make things worse for you."
"You kill rodents, flies, all for your own pleasure. You've harmed the innocent when they only hurt you by accident. Why must I accept that?"
"Because I can do it, George." Laura replied, "my life is precious to me, and I won't let anyone take away my liberties."
"Even me?"
"Yes, George. You're nothing exceptional. There are men out there just as endearing as you, I can always find someone else."
"Then why do you want me to stay with you?"
"Because I love how comfortable you make me and give me moral support and literary food for thought. Also, you want me to break you, otherwise you'd have done something by now and we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"I guess we wouldn't." Laura decided to listen to his body now. The increase of his heartbeat made her feel strong, his muscles relaxing because of her the best source of enjoyment she could find. How he was weakening beneath her touch and body made Laura secure in the knowledge that she could do whatever she wanted, lie to whomever she wanted, because George was so nice and tender that she could bend him to her will.
Or get rid of him. In that case, Laura could always find a replacement. George's prosperity was only as good as how reliable he could be. So far he was being loyal so she would keep him. However if he prevented her from gaining unlimited freedom for herself, she would extinguish him like a fire.
__________________
Controversy brings life. It makes us react against what harms us, threatens to corrupt the harmony
we all want to live in. We protect our interests because of controversy.

Controversy

12-21-2009, 04:57 AM

In between writing of Chaotic Laura I thought I might share with you my code of Lawful Stupid, for creative purposes. Please share your own too. You may end up creating better ones.

1. You shall lie blindly if asked to by the law.

2. You shall murder without question if asked to by the law.

3. You shall blindly harm the inncoent if asked to by the law.

4. You shall honour whoever folows the law at the expense of those who
have legal difficulties.

5. You shall aid whomever the law asks you to, even if they are in the
show signs of being in the wrong.

6. You shall follow fashion, even if others think it does not suit you.

7. You shall buy what the majority does without thinking it over.

8. You shall follow the rules and not understand why they are broken.

9. You shall treat others who break the law without empathy, regardless
of circumstance.

10. You shall enforce the law even if others are treated unfairly.

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Controversy

12-29-2009, 10:42 AM

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Phoenix

12-29-2009, 11:53 AM

Carrot

12-29-2009, 11:57 AM

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12-29-2009, 12:05 PM

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Phoenix

12-30-2009, 11:15 PM

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WhiteRaven

01-02-2010, 04:09 AM

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Controversy

01-11-2010, 05:03 AM

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WhiteRaven

01-21-2010, 01:44 PM

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Controversy

01-22-2010, 05:46 AM

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