Longest thread ever!!

[MrBirdy]

I have a dream!! to make this the longest thread ever, so that all the black text and white backgrounds can live in peace!!

LOL
ok, well the gist is this, i want this to be the longest thread ever (not longest refering to most lines of text but the one with the most posts...)

the rules:

you may only post one liners
if you want to post more than one line each sentence most have either 5 or 7 words
you are not alowed to post more than two posts in a row!! (e.g. 1 AJK 2 AJK 3 AJK is not allowed)


Enjoy!!

[Ausinus]

Haha, all you pro lifers, your own constitution undermines you. Sucked in.

[MrBirdy]

God seriously needs a better hoby, i just dont think that playing craps and always winning seems that funn....

[Ausinus]

Ok, the bad spelling on this forum really disturbs me, we need a better standard of education or at least a better spell checker :D

[who897]

Haha, all you pro lifers, your own constitution undermines you. Sucked in.

It's SUCK IT. Who 2 Aus 8

[Ausinus]

In "sucked in", a colloquialism directed at someone who has been embarrased. Like you are sucked in because of my superior grammar. Who 2 Aus 9.:D

[who897]

Sucked In, is not a complete sentence then.

[Ausinus]

In the way I used it, it is more of a conclusion evidente, like QED. It can be used either way, as in "you are sucked in because the math teacher hates you" or "the math teacher hates you. sucked in"

[MrBirdy]

In the way I used it, it is more of a conclusion evidente, like QED. It can be used either way, as in "you are sucked in because the math teacher hates you" or "the math teacher hates you. sucked in"

(no comment)

[Superslayer]

A bird can fly.

[Ausinus]

But could a bird, lets say a swallow, carry a coconut?:D

[Superslayer]

Maybe, i it's two of them. But what kind of swallow do you mean?

[who897]

But could a bird, lets say a swallow, carry a coconut?:D

Is that a european swallow or and african swallow. What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[Superslayer]

I'll gess it's an european swallow.

[Ausinus]

A huge amount of english words are derived from french, like entertainment and beef. :D

[yea_thats_right1]

ya'll are weird... put that in your juice box and sip it!

[Ausinus]

Im crazy that way :D

[Superslayer]

I'm also pretty crazy my self.

[who897]

A huge amount of english words are derived from french, like entertainment and beef. :D

And fries, toast, and kisses, just because we us it doesn't mean it's good.

[who897]

Ladies and Gentalmen, I shall be sain here in a few months.

[who897]

I just got my orders to NJ, my home state, I'm gonna be running some shit then.

[Ausinus]

I believe that with time, humanity will be able to create life from scratch.

[who897]

In time, I think humanity will be able to use time wisely.

[MrBirdy]

besides me. does anyone feel horny after seeing saddam executed? or when they pass by cementaries, is this normal?

[Ausinus]

Angel's lust :D

[MrBirdy]

i like dead folks and i cannot lie, you other zombies cant deny!!
when a little skull walks in and i say "you bag of bones"
i get sprung!!


im such a fiesty nacrofeliac

[Ausinus]

Its spelt necrophiliac, not nacrofiliac or whatever.

[General Septem]

I want to write a movie or TV episode where all the profanity could be cropped (not cut) and the viewer could still get the gist of what's going on. :D

[Ausinus]

What did Jesus say to peter while on the cross? "Peter....I can see your house from here":D

[who897]

What did Jesus say to peter while on the cross? "Peter....I can see your house from here":D


What did Peter say to Jesus while on the cross? "Jesus, I can see your balls again man"

[Ausinus]

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

[who897]

A couple is at a modern art show, when they come across a painting w/ 3 naked black people sitting down on a bench. They are intregued by this since the one in the middle has a pink dick, while the other 2 have black dicks. After awhile of stareing at it the curator comes over and explains what they percieve it to mean. "I think it means that the stuggle between African-Americans to give themselves identity in this predominate white world. That they are starting to feel assimulation through breeding with the white people". This went on after awhile. The couple turned back to the painting after the curator left. Then the janitor who was an Irish man walked up and said. "I'll tell you what this painting really means". The couple looked at him and said "Your just the janitor, how could you possilbe know what this means". His reply " I am the one who painted it, and the picture is about 3 irish men working in the coal mines, and one went home for lunch".

[MrBirdy]

Show me some love!!!

[Ausinus]

Check out this spoof of an ad which was meant to advertise immigrating to Australia. The original ad was called 'Where the bloody hell are you?':D Its so funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPm4x_Yh2HM

[who897]

Check out this spoof of an ad which was meant to advertise immigrating to Australia. The original ad was called 'Where the bloody hell are you?':D Its so funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPm4x_Yh2HM

The first thing said was that "We packed ya a coon." ?

[Ausinus]

Yes, it means "we killed an aboriginal person for you".

You have to be australian to get some of it.

[who897]

Yes, it means "we killed an aboriginal person for you".

You have to be australian to get some of it.


Thank goodness I'm not...or else I might like the french.

[Ausinus]

Here's some idea for people who dont get it.:D

The first scene "we packed a coon" refers to we took the aborigines land.

The second one refers to the cronulla beach riots, where people had a riot and beat up middle eastern looking people.

The third one "great accomodation" refers to how we have a lot of illegal immigrants in detention centres.

The fourth one "the dingoes are well fed" refers to the Lindy Chamberlain incident.

The final one refers to how a lot of people are actually bashed up by the police in Australia.

[MrBirdy]

Here's some idea for people who dont get it.:D

The first scene "we packed a coon" refers to we took the aborigines land.

The second one refers to the cronulla beach riots, where people had a riot and beat up middle eastern looking people.

The third one "great accomodation" refers to how we have a lot of illegal immigrants in detention centres.

The fourth one "the dingoes are well fed" refers to the Lindy Chamberlain incident.

The final one refers to how a lot of people are actually bashed up by the police in Australia.

Im mexican, and i got all of them LOL, its a great vid!!

[Ausinus]

Yup. You gotta love australian humour. :D

[who897]

Yup. You gotta love australian humour. :D

Australians have humor? I thought the best they could do is "You call that a knife, this is a knife".

[something]

I this going to be the longest thread ever has it really failed. I've seen them go from 0 posts to 400 on a few hours.

[Ausinus]

Australians have humor? I thought the best they could do is "You call that a knife, this is a knife".

We dont have humor, we have humour. :D

[who897]

We dont have humor, we have humour. :D

Why not just call yourselves british then?

[Ausinus]

Didnt you know? Our head of state is the queen.

We may be autonomous, but we are not autocephalous.

[who897]

Didnt you know? Our head of state is the queen.

We may be autonomous, but we are not autocephalous.

It was in reference to how you like to spell like the limey's.

[something]

Scotland, Wales, Ireland (north) and England belongs to Britain, and you hear people be called "scottish" or "irish" or "brittish" but never someone that is "english"?

[Ausinus]

Its a generalised term, that why. British can refer to anyone from the british isles, while you can be pickier if you want.

[who897]

Its a generalised term, that why. British can refer to anyone from the british isles, while you can be pickier if you want.

Limeys are limeys are limeys :D

[theicidal maniac]

Scotland, Wales, Ireland (north) and England belongs to Britain, and you hear people be called "scottish" or "irish" or "brittish" but never someone that is "english"?
That's not true at all, not in america anyway...anyone whose native English is different than ours is "ENGLISH"

[who897]

Here's a little tid bit I was thinking about to keep this thread going forever and ever and ever LOL :D

So, how many people wish they could be 17 again just so they could make kiddie porn. Now I'm not saying having sex w/ a 5 yr old...just being 17 and having sex with another 17 yr old and recording it. Now, does wishing that you were 17 so you "could" have sex with another 17 yr old make you sick like a pedophile? I would think that it would make you a realist in that you know you can't literally do it but that you know if you were that age you could. Good ole captain was talking to me tonight and made me type this discussion so feed back is necessary or else the captain will be upset. :D

[freakazoid]

Here's a little tid bit I was thinking about to keep this thread going forever and ever and ever LOL :D

So, how many people wish they could be 17 again just so they could make kiddie porn. Now I'm not saying having sex w/ a 5 yr old...just being 17 and having sex with another 17 yr old and recording it. Now, does wishing that you were 17 so you "could" have sex with another 17 yr old make you sick like a pedophile? I would think that it would make you a realist in that you know you can't literally do it but that you know if you were that age you could. Good ole captain was talking to me tonight and made me type this discussion so feed back is necessary or else the captain will be upset. :D

Maggot! :eek:

[theicidal maniac]

Maggot! :eek:

I'm pretty sure he called you that because now he knows for sure that YOU ACTUALLY ARE STEALING HIS BRAINWAVES!!! To answer your question, though who, how come when we're 17 we want older women??? As a high schooler the good stuffs right there for the only time in our lives that it will be socially acceptable and...oh man did I just type that. You tricked me into saying that you maggot.

[General Septem]

Here's a little tid bit I was thinking about to keep this thread going forever and ever and ever LOL :D

So, how many people wish they could be 17 again just so they could make kiddie porn. Now I'm not saying having sex w/ a 5 yr old...just being 17 and having sex with another 17 yr old and recording it. Now, does wishing that you were 17 so you "could" have sex with another 17 yr old make you sick like a pedophile? I would think that it would make you a realist in that you know you can't literally do it but that you know if you were that age you could. Good ole captain was talking to me tonight and made me type this discussion so feed back is necessary or else the captain will be upset. :D

No, because in New York the age of consent is 17. :D

[something]

No, because in New York the age of consent is 17. :D

I think limit here is 15.

[hitekredneck]

I think limit here is 15.

in kentucky ain't it 12? :D

[hitekredneck]

Here's a little tid bit I was thinking about to keep this thread going forever and ever and ever LOL :D

So, how many people wish they could be 17 again just so they could make kiddie porn. Now I'm not saying having sex w/ a 5 yr old...just being 17 and having sex with another 17 yr old and recording it. Now, does wishing that you were 17 so you "could" have sex with another 17 yr old make you sick like a pedophile? I would think that it would make you a realist in that you know you can't literally do it but that you know if you were that age you could. Good ole captain was talking to me tonight and made me type this discussion so feed back is necessary or else the captain will be upset. :D

man, i can barely remember being 17, but from what i do remember, i didn't even think about age...just about gettin some... :D

[something]

in kentucky ain't it 12? :D

12? fuck, then you're just a kid. :eek:

[who897]

in kentucky ain't it 12? :D

Only for first cousins, it's around 10 for everyone else I do believe.

[something]

Only for first cousins, it's around 10 for everyone else I do believe.

Whata hell :eek: How do they separate pedofiles from anyone else then?

[General Septem]

Whata hell :eek: How do they separate pedofiles from anyone else then?

False dichotomy. There's nobody to separate them from. :D

[something]

False dichotomy. There's nobody to separate them from. :D

I meant cases. If a 11 years old get raped is that a case of pedofiles of just rape?

[General Septem]

I meant cases. If a 11 years old get raped is that a case of pedofiles of just rape?

I don't know, but I don't think the courts really care since the guy will get the chair either way. :D

[who897]

You now it's not nice to pick on the foreigner who takes everything you say literally LOL :D But it is kinda funny

[theicidal maniac]

Whata hell :eek: How do they separate pedofiles from anyone else then?

What's a pedophile?

[something]

What's a pedophile?

Having sex with people under 15, or 17, or 18 or whatahell the limit is.

[hitekredneck]

Having sex with people under 15, or 17, or 18 or whatahell the limit is.

i think it's worse than that...17 or 18 might be questionable, but 14 and under, well, if you're over 18, then you would be considered a pedophile....

[Ape-Shit]

The legal age in South Carolina is 16 for consensual sex. Kinda stupid if you ask me. Anyone wanting to have sex with someone younger that that is definitely "Sick". Shoot the Bastard...!

[something]

The legal age in South Carolina is 16 for consensual sex. Kinda stupid if you ask me. Anyone wanting to have sex with someone younger that that is definitely "Sick". Shoot the Bastard...!

So a 23 year old can't have sex witha 22 year old?

[Ape-Shit]

So a 23 year old can't have sex witha 22 year old?

No Something, at 16 years of age and older, anyone can have sex legally (provided that you are married, South Carolina Law mandates that it is illegal to have sex and not be married). However, anyone under the age of 16 having sex is a crime.
The female is usually never convicted. It is always the male being charged with Statutory Rape.

One funny thing about the United States is that each state has a different set of laws governing their opinion on certain issues. What applies to the State of South Carolina may not apply to other states in the US.

[hitekredneck]

this kid has to be on drugs!:eek:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0519063nc1.html

[starry123nights]

this kid has to be on drugs!:eek:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0519063nc1.html

OMG, as my husband would say. I've walked over dead dogs that looked better then that.

[General Septem]

Pedophilia is not to be confused with statutory rape, because pedophilia is a mental condition. If you have sex with a 15-year old girl who happens to look like she's in her 20s and very sexy in a mature way, it may be illegal but it's not pedophilia. Pedophilia is sexual attraction towards kids. It has nothing to do with their age, but how mature they look. Pedophiles are sexually attracted to the immature and undeveloped. Also unlike statutory rape, you don't have to have sex to be a pedophile; it's a mental condition which causes you to have sexual feelings, it's not based on actions.

[Ape-Shit]

OMG, as my husband would say. I've walked over dead dogs that looked better then that.


Uuggllllleeeeee....!:p

[General Septem]

this kid has to be on drugs!:eek:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0519063nc1.html

My third grade teacher was hotter than that, and she was a 60-year old ex-nun lesbian.

[something]

Man, that's one uggly lady.

[Ape-Shit]

Betchya, when she was little, they had to tie a pork chop around her neck just to get the dogs to play with her?

[hitekredneck]

http://www.yikers.com/video_vista_speech_falls_on_its_face_again.html
you really wanna upgrade now? :confused:
sexual harrasment gone wrong ;)
http://www.yikers.com/video_surprise_boob_grab_goes_wrong.html

[hitekredneck]

so where's everybody at?....this makes me wanna be an mma fighter....
http://www.ultimate-fighter.ca/Forum/viewtopic.php?id=3342
:D
no offense ladies...but this girl is smokin hot!

[Ape-Shit]

Hey Red, something like that would break my back.:p

[starry123nights]

calm yourself red. I bet you'd let her beat your ass too..huh.

[General Septem]

so where's everybody at?....this makes me wanna be an mma fighter....
http://www.ultimate-fighter.ca/Forum/viewtopic.php?id=3342
:D
no offense ladies...but this girl is smokin hot!

I think I want all three of her. :D

[Ape-Shit]

calm yourself red. I bet you'd let her beat your ass too..huh.


Beat his ass, his neck, his back, his legs, his thighs and what ever else she could Woop Up on...!

Red would be Dead, DeadRed, Dead, Dead Red, Dead.:p

[hitekredneck]

calm yourself red. I bet you'd let her beat your ass too..huh.

widda club, baby... :D

[hitekredneck]

Beat his ass, his neck, his back, his legs, his thighs and what ever else she could Woop Up on...!

Red would be Dead, DeadRed, Dead, Dead Red, Dead.:p

but widda big freshly fuckin smile, apeshit... :D

[Ape-Shit]

but widda big freshly fuckin smile, apeshit... :D


What a way to go...!:p

[starry123nights]

you men are so NASTY. dirty little minds..hahahaha:)

[hitekredneck]

you men are so NASTY. dirty little minds..hahahaha:)

gotta love us :D ;) :p

[who897]

It's women's fault men have dirty minds. If there weren't any women, men couldn't think of any dirty thoughts about them.

[yea_thats_right1]

It's women's fault men have dirty minds. If there weren't any women, men couldn't think of any dirty thoughts about them.

nope, instead men would think dirty thoughts about cows and thier supple utters...:D

[Ape-Shit]

nope, instead men would think dirty thoughts about cows and thier supple utters...:D


That might not be a bad thing. Yeah, let me see......, hmmmm. Six tits instead of two and plenty of milk too......! Damn, I wounder if someone could get all six in their mouth at one time. I know for sure three, maybe four. Six would definitely be pushing it, but anything is possible right....?:p

[starry123nights]

That might not be a bad thing. Yeah, let me see......, hmmmm. Six tits instead of two and plenty of milk too......! Damn, I wounder if someone could get all six in their mouth at one time. I know for sure three, maybe four. Six would definitely be pushing it, but anything is possible right....?:p who the hell would want to suck on six at one time?

[Ape-Shit]

who the hell would want to suck on six at one time?

That's an easy answer to your question.......................................... ........GS would..!:p He'd settle for one, but would go completely nuts for six. Ha, Ha.:p

[hitekredneck]

who the hell would want to suck on six at one time?

not me...i prefer to pay particular attention to each one :D

[Nobody]

.... Is this page getting stagant that its down to beasteality? I believe I'll have a beer!

[hitekredneck]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=438915&in_page_id=1811
:D

[Ape-Shit]

That's a good one Red!:p

[hitekredneck]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070301/ap_on_fe_st/italy_grenade;_ylt=AvBEh_3pYmbeC3havdjlbvqhOrgF
talk about a recipe for heartburn! :D

[Nobody]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=438915&in_page_id=1811
:D
....wouldt have been more real if we could've sent BARNEY?

[unclepops07]

Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.

[hitekredneck]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070302/od_nm/elsalvador_grenade_dc;_ylt=AuKJlhVsM2nXQx7KIouZQHg uQE4F
:D

[something]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070302/od_nm/elsalvador_grenade_dc;_ylt=AuKJlhVsM2nXQx7KIouZQHg uQE4F
:D

I guess he should be happy it wasn't a bigger granade then :D

[hitekredneck]

this ain't gonna make it as the longest thread :(
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/05/moose.v.helo.ap/index.html

[Ape-Shit]

Man o Man, Red; You just got to come up with something just a little better than the Moose thing.

It was interesting to note that in rural Alaska the Moose outnumbered people by 2 to 1. I wounder how many of those Moose's had to have an abortion due to horny Alaskans?

How 'bout the Eskimos.....? Now there's a hot topic.:p

[General Septem]

I think if your state has more cows than people, you don't get to be called a state anymore. :D

[starry123nights]

this ain't gonna make it as the longest thread :(
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/05/moose.v.helo.ap/index.html I lived in Alaska on a military base. We had a moose named Blue Bell that traveled between the two bases. It was agaisnt the law to harm her.

[hitekredneck]

Man o Man, Red; You just got to come up with something just a little better than the Moose thing.

It was interesting to note that in rural Alaska the Moose outnumbered people by 2 to 1. I wounder how many of those Moose's had to have an abortion due to horny Alaskans?

How 'bout the Eskimos.....? Now there's a hot topic.:p

what can i say?...it helped take this thread just a lil further :D

[starry123nights]

what can i say?...it helped take this thread just a lil further :D
here's something for your thread. WHAT A SHITTY ASS DAY IT WAS TODAY. SO GLAD TOMORROW IS FRIDAY.

[Nobody]

here's something for your thread. WHAT A SHITTY ASS DAY IT WAS TODAY. SO GLAD TOMORROW IS FRIDAY.
....I think I know what you feel. I got paid today,and tomorrow my wife will give me an allowance. I feel obligated to shake everyones hand,because its like hitting the lottery.

[hitekredneck]

....I think I know what you feel. I got paid today,and tomorrow my wife will give me an allowance. I feel obligated to shake everyones hand,because its like hitting the lottery.

damn...and here i thought i was the only one with an allowance...does she give you enough to survive?:D

[Nobody]

damn...and here i thought i was the only one with an allowance...does she give you enough to survive?:D

....have you ever seen anyone walking the median of an interstate, picking up cans? That might have been me, trying to suppliment my allowance.

[hitekredneck]

hey, equal rights for everyone...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070309/od_nm/germany_divorce_chainsaw_dc;_ylt=Aq25SY.jGQ9EYx4zY mG2gjzMWM0F
:D

[Nobody]

hey, equal rights for everyone...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070309/od_nm/germany_divorce_chainsaw_dc;_ylt=Aq25SY.jGQ9EYx4zY mG2gjzMWM0F
:D....thats fucking hilarious....but some how I know that woman is going to have the last laugh.

[something]

....thats fucking hilarious....but some how I know that woman is going to have the last laugh.

She probably going to make him pay so much alamony that he have sell his own dick.

[Nobody]

She probably going to make him pay so much alamony that he have sell his own dick.
....would that be as a whore, or in total dismemberment?....ooooh the thought.

[starry123nights]

hey, equal rights for everyone...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070309/od_nm/germany_divorce_chainsaw_dc;_ylt=Aq25SY.jGQ9EYx4zY mG2gjzMWM0F
:D lmao equal rights.....lol

[Nobody]

lmao equal rights.....lol
.... whats wrong with equal rights?:D

[hitekredneck]

lmao equal rights.....lol

glad u like it :D

[starry123nights]

I'm going to have to show my fellow employee men in the office a picture of a topless sexy woman, before the next meeting.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4921690.stm

[hitekredneck]

I'm going to have to show my fellow employee men in the office a picture of a topless sexy woman, before the next meeting.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4921690.stm

i guess this explains all of the bad decisions i've made...:D

[something]

i guess this explains all of the bad decisions i've made...:D

Mine too. This must mean it's an advantage to be gay when your dealing with money.

[General Septem]

Actually I would say seeing sexy women makes me more decisive because I recognize that as a manly trait. :D

[hitekredneck]

here's the first...states womens brains shut down during orgasm :D
http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/050620_ap_female_orgasm.html

and why men fall asleep after sex :rolleyes:
http://www.livescience.com/mysteries/070315_sex_sleep.html


and finally, a new theory on how messages transmit thru nerves via soundwaves rather than electricity :confused:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20070317/sc_livescience/controversialnewideanervestransmitsoundnotelectric ity;_ylt=Avkc0ySs8pHpowUCRv.oEQLMWM0F

edit...sorry, jim, apparently, there's no cure for hangovers...lol
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthnews/2451/is-there-a-hangover-cure

[starry123nights]

edit...sorry, jim, apparently, there's no cure for hangovers...lol
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthnews/2451/is-there-a-hangover-cure The only cure for a hangover for me is hugging the freakin almight toilet goddess and I am totally good for nothing the next day.

[hitekredneck]

The only cure for a hangover for me is hugging the freakin almight toilet goddess and I am totally good for nothing the next day.

that's really whyi don't drink very much anymore...:D

[beelzebub]

here's the first...states womens brains shut down during orgasm :D
http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/050620_ap_female_orgasm.html

I find it funny to think of 2 people, in an MRI, having sex, while other people are watching.

[General Septem]

here's the first...states womens brains shut down during orgasm :D
http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/050620_ap_female_orgasm.html

I guess if you make a girl more relaxed you'll be better in bed then. I'll have to remember that. :D

[MrBirdy]

Hey, im the one that started giving people the finger, and stuff, and now everyone is copying me!!

[MrJim]

Hey, im the one that started giving people the finger, and stuff, and now everyone is copying me!!

Actually, I had never seen your avatar before when I made my original one, however, I changed it because of everyone doing the same thing...

[General Septem]

Actually, I had never seen your avatar before when I made my original one, however, I changed it because of everyone doing the same thing...

I can change mine if you want yours back.

[MrJim]

I can change mine if you want yours back.

Nah, makes no difference, I still have the photo as the profile picture.

[hitekredneck]

I find it funny to think of 2 people, in an MRI, having sex, while other people are watching.

couldn't do it, mang...hell, i get camera shy, if ya know what i mean :rolleyes:

[hitekredneck]

ain't it funny how all the judges think that pot shouldn't be legal?
fuckin hypocrite:mad:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070320/ap_en_tv/anna_nicole_smith_judge;_ylt=Ahg2yUvnhNm..rAFkXUXh A_MWM0F

and here's a new excuse for the ages...roflmfaoooo :D
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0316driving-defense16-ON.html

[something]

ain't it funny how all the judges think that pot shouldn't be legal?
fuckin hypocrite:mad:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070320/ap_en_tv/anna_nicole_smith_judge;_ylt=Ahg2yUvnhNm..rAFkXUXh A_MWM0F



What's so hypocritic with that? Did put any mariujana smokers in to jail before?

[starry123nights]

ain't it funny how all the judges think that pot shouldn't be legal?
fuckin hypocrite:mad:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070320/ap_en_tv/anna_nicole_smith_judge;_ylt=Ahg2yUvnhNm..rAFkXUXh A_MWM0F
I'm thinking this judge secretly wants to legalize pot. It's true in Florida and the state I live in now. (and many other states) It's only a misdemeanor to have a joint. If it's under an ounce that is not packaged for distribution than it's a misdemeanor. But damn I wouldn't my name in the paper. Let's bet he doesn't get re-elected.

[monkeyboy9080]

your ideas cool. i thougt id help the cause... BITCHES!!!!:D

[16,666]

this thread kicks ass i help the cause and i also hate hippies with there pot smokin ways and free life style I HATE THEM:mad:

[something]

this thread kicks ass i help the cause and i also hate hippies with there pot smokin ways and free life style I HATE THEM:mad:

Agreed about the hippies. Disagreed on the pot smokin.

[conspiracy]

Quite honestly , the way to curb the illegal drug system is simply to make most things legal. Think about that for a second. Make drugs legal. It would almost certainly make drug dealers not as rich and powerful. It would also curb crime from users. Not completely but I really think you'd see a decline.
Think about why most crimes are committed. Yes that's right , drugs.

[something]

Quite honestly , the way to curb the illegal drug system is simply to make most things legal. Think about that for a second. Make drugs legal. It would almost certainly make drug dealers not as rich and powerful. It would also curb crime from users. Not completely but I really think you'd see a decline.
Think about why most crimes are committed. Yes that's right , drugs.

Agreed to 100%. Even thou, it's not recomended that you take drugs. With the exception of marijuana it's very unhealthy. But it's true as you say, it's the #1 reason to many crimes.

[hitekredneck]

very inventive...:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/10161/Redneck_Rollercoaster
think imight have to build onemy own self :D

[starry123nights]

very inventive...:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/10161/Redneck_Rollercoaster
think imight have to build onemy own self :D


lmao:D ...you build one, I'll bring my redneck family over to play.

[MrJim]

very inventive...:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/10161/Redneck_Rollercoaster
think imight have to build onemy own self :D

SWEET!! However, if open for the public, you'll need a LOT of damn 'warning' signs. :D

[MrBirdy]

very inventive...:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/10161/Redneck_Rollercoaster
think imight have to build onemy own self :D

Dammit redneck, cut the links man!!
dont polute my thread!!

[General Septem]

Dammit redneck, cut the links man!!
dont polute my thread!!

Pollute it? It's supposed to be the longest thread ever. :D

[MrBirdy]

Pollute it? It's supposed to be the longest thread ever. :D

Fine you win, ill contribute a little too...

[MrBirdy]

just so you guys know, i think the record is 36 pages...

[MrJim]

Dammit redneck, cut the links man!!
dont polute my thread!!

I take it you were the one that voted yes to this poll? (http://forum.bullshit.com/showthread.php?t=1023) ;)

[hitekredneck]

just so you guys know, i think the record is 36 pages...

mrbirdy,you might think this is sacreligious to your "thread", but please understand that i'm just trying to help...i think some of these stories and vids
i find and post are entertaining if not educational, and it seems that most of our fellow "bullshit artists" agree...that being said, if you ask politely, i will discontinue my practice of posting links on this thread...i will, however, continue to post them on here elsewhere...now for todays choices...


the church of 420?
http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/0322/pot_ap.html


here's some good news for the general...:D
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/connected/main.jhtml?xml=/connected/2007/03/21/nmetal21.xml

and finally...i always knew they had the best shit...:D
http://www.theindychannel.com/news/11330843/detail.html?subid=22100444&qs=1;bp=t

[General Septem]

here's some good news for the general...:D
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/connected/main.jhtml?xml=/connected/2007/03/21/nmetal21.xml


Long-haired too, they say. Interesting. :D

[hitekredneck]

Long-haired too, they say. Interesting. :D

i thought you'ld like that :D

[hitekredneck]

this has to be the best beer commercial i've seen..:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/3192/Leave_My_Beer_Alone

please forgive the nudity at the end...
http://www.comegetyousome.com/viewvid.php?id=1917

[Faihanius]

Hi, I'm new here..<-- that was a one-liner!

[hitekredneck]

Hi, I'm new here..<-- that was a one-liner!

welcome to the biggest bunch of bullshit artists you'll ever meet! :D

[General Septem]

Hi, I'm new here..<-- that was a one-liner!

Welcome. :D

[something]

Hi, I'm new here..<-- that was a one-liner!

Welcome :D

[hitekredneck]

this seems entirely unfair to me :mad:
http://www.rapidcityjournal.com/articles/2007/03/24/news/top/news00m_hiphop_hippie.txt

[Nobody]

this has to be the best beer commercial i've seen..:D
http://evilchili.com/mediaview/3192/Leave_My_Beer_Alone

please forgive the nudity at the end...
http://www.comegetyousome.com/viewvid.php?id=1917


Where do you find this stuff?:D :D

[MrJim]

I
.
.
.
.
.
HAVE
.
.
.
.
.
NOTHING
.
.
.
.
.
TO
.
.
.
.
.
SAY...

Just helping to make this the longest thread a little quicker, hehe :D

[Nobody]

Mr Jim. Why does it appear as though you're shaking a fist at a shadowy sillowet of the dictator Lennin? ( Lennin was a good discription for this thread). Was it because you and your adopted son,(the General), are not getting along at home?
I see you made hin shave his whiskers. At least you allowed him to keep the hat and the stinky finger.
Oh the shame you must go through. Thats BULL SHIT!:D :D

[MrJim]

Mr Jim. Why does it appear as though you're shaking a fist at a shadowy sillowet of the dictator Lennin? ( Lennin was a good discription for this thread). Was it because you and your adopted son,(the General), are not getting along at home?
I see you made hin shave his whiskers. At least you allowed him to keep the hat and the stinky finger.
Oh the shame you must go through. Thats BULL SHIT!:D :D

Actually, that was the last guy that talked shit about me, after I knocked him through the wall :D

it was a walk-through cut-out of the world's tallest man at the guiness world records museum.

[Nobody]

Actually, that was the last guy that talked shit about me, after I knocked him through the wall :D

it was a walk-through cut-out of the world's tallest man at the guiness world records museum.

Where else can you read these articles, other than the pages of "HERE" ?:D

[MrJim]

Where is everybody these days? I can't help make this the longest thread all by myself!!

[hitekredneck]

Where is everybody these days? I can't help make this the longest thread all by myself!!

hey...you can't say i haven't contributed... :p

[hitekredneck]

glad i ain't jewish ;)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070328/od_nm/marijuana_dc;_ylt=Ak66QhwioMlRGHlZ4SErS3TMWM0F


ummm...this wasn't a law already? :confused:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070327/pl_nm/texas_deadlyforce_dc

[MrJim]

hey...you can't say i haven't contributed... :p

Sorry. Wasn't directed at you, the board in general really.. and... we're tied again. :D

[hitekredneck]

we all need one...or at least to join a fraternity :D
http://media.www.michigandaily.com/media/storage/paper851/news/2007/03/26/Crime/Masturbating.Trespasser.Booted.From.Frat-2791352.shtml

[MrJim]

we all need one...or at least to join a fraternity :D
http://media.www.michigandaily.com/media/storage/paper851/news/2007/03/26/Crime/Masturbating.Trespasser.Booted.From.Frat-2791352.shtml

I don't blame them for throwing out the couches... (or maybe one of them secretly took it home, hehe).

[hitekredneck]

umm...yeah....okay...:eek:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/23/sheep_pack/

extreme panty-raiding? :D
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003638064_webpantythefts27m.html

i can't believe they're fighting over this :cool:
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070327130407.gdx62jd6&show_article=1

and finally, an endearing story on an atomic wedgie :p
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,261265,00.html

[MrJim]

Damn, do you just google 'weird shit' and find this stuff, or what, man? It'll take a while just to open all that...:o

[hitekredneck]

Damn, do you just google 'weird shit' and find this stuff, or what, man? It'll take a while just to open all that...:o

nay, my friend...i happen to be a purveyor of the truly strange out there...and enjoy sharing the wierdness...i feel the same old shit of bush nuthugging or bush bashing, bitching about abortion or religion, well, they get old sometimes, so i try to do something different ;)

[MrJim]

nay, my friend...i happen to be a purveyor of the truly strange out there...and enjoy sharing the wierdness...i feel the same old shit of bush nuthugging or bush bashing, bitching about abortion or religion, well, they get old sometimes, so i try to do something different ;)

Well, the panty-horder was definitely different, anyway... hope he wasn't planning to bring them all to life or something like that...:eek:

[hitekredneck]

Well, the panty-horder was definitely different, anyway... hope he wasn't planning to bring them all to life or something like that...:eek:

i shoulda put the one on here about the $14 thousand panty raid in NY...lmao...seems somebody robbed a victoria's secret...

[General Septem]

umm...yeah....okay...:eek:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/23/sheep_pack/

You're surprised? The British Army has been employing sheep exclusively for the past 200 years. :D


ummm...this wasn't a law already? :confused:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070327/pl_nm/texas_deadlyforce_dc

It's about time. http://forum.bullshit.com/images/icons/icon14.gif

[MrJim]

What we call the news... hilarious!

http://www.jibjab.com/what_we_call_the_news

[something]

What we call the news... hilarious!

http://www.jibjab.com/what_we_call_the_news

ROTFLMAO:D :D

But what about the dog food comercial thing in the beggining?

[MrJim]

ROTFLMAO:D :D

But what about the dog food comercial thing in the beggining?

Annoying ain't they? For us, it was a paint commercial. Guess everyone's got to make a profit.

[hitekredneck]

What we call the news... hilarious!

http://www.jibjab.com/what_we_call_the_news

love it, mang...lmao :D

[hitekredneck]

mikey mikey...sheesh :rolleyes:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/launch/20070327/en_launch/41620594

OUCH!!!!! :eek:
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,21468867-5006301,00.html

[hitekredneck]

http://www.boners.com/grub/797157.html
shit...couldn't get it to show
http://www.boners.com/grub/797106.html

[hitekredneck]

ok...i give up on the pics for this morning...here's something that makes me wonder...wouldn't this be a compliment?
http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1717105.ece

[something]

ok...i give up on the pics for this morning...here's something that makes me wonder...wouldn't this be a compliment?
http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1717105.ece

Calling someone a fucking horse dick? No I don't think that's a compliment :rolleyes:

[General Septem]

It's a compliment to some. :D

[something]

It's a compliment to some. :D

And who could that be?

[General Septem]

And who could that be?

I don't know, but the word "dick" can be as much a term of endearment as anything else. It just depends on how it's said, and taken.

[starry123nights]

I don't know, but the word "dick" can be as much a term of endearment as anything else. It just depends on how it's said, and taken. of course if I said he's a fucking dickhead, that doesn't mean I'm giving him a compliment.:D

[MrJim]

Hey, how's it going lately? I'm glad to hear from some folks I haven't seen on in here latley.

[starry123nights]

It's going. working ssdd. Hey you seen ape shit?

[MrJim]

It's going. working ssdd. Hey you seen ape shit?

see the thread at the bottom.

[something]

Anyone seen ajk?

[starry123nights]

Anyone seen ajk?
who gives a shit bout ajk.

[MrJim]

he don't post much lately (been brainwashed (hehe)) but on a lot.

[something]

Now let's switch subject. How about computers? Do we really need 'em?

[General Septem]

Now let's switch subject. How about computers? Do we really need 'em?

Without computers, there would be no way of distributing funny pictures of cats stuck in beer glasses :D

[something]

Without computers, there would be no way of distributing funny pictures of cats stuck in beer glasses :D

DON'T make fun of funny cat pictures! That's true art:mad: ................................NOT:D .

No I were just trying to keep this thread going, computers is one of the most genius inventions ever.

[hitekredneck]

Without computers, there would be no way of distributing funny pictures of cats stuck in beer glasses :D

i prefer pics of hot young asian women...or was that white women?...maybe black...oh hell, just women!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

[MrBirdy]

i prefer pics of hot young asian women...or was that white women?...maybe black...oh hell, just women!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

Finally something we can agree upon!!
damn those asians are hot, hell im good with a really skinny asian guy!!
jk
jk
seriously though, asians are hot, and i mean Hawt!!

[something]

i prefer pics of hot young asian women...or was that white women?...maybe black...oh hell, just women!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

That's also a form of underestimated art. :D

[General Septem]

i prefer pics of hot young asian women...or was that white women?...maybe black...oh hell, just women!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

I like multiracial women myself. Half-Asian/half-non-Asian (except black (I'm not racist)) women are far hotter than fully Asian women (MARIA OZAWA <33333). Plus the cutest girls I know are descendants of multiple heritages. Different races have different physical traits, and often when you mix races the result tends to inherit the best of each. :D

[hitekredneck]

I like multiracial women myself. Half-Asian/half-non-Asian (except black (I'm not racist)) women are far hotter than fully Asian women (MARIA OZAWA <33333). Plus the cutest girls I know are descendants of multiple heritages. Different races have different physical traits, and often when you mix races the result tends to inherit the best of each. :D

i just like women in general, general...lmao...women are the main reason men do anything....

[General Septem]

i just like women in general, general...lmao...women are the main reason men do anything....

I'll drink to that. (downs 10 cc of Robitussin) :D

[MrJim]

12 Miller Lite tallboys for me tonight :D Keep this thread moving.

[hitekredneck]

here's my contributions for the day:

invisibility is possible:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070406/sc_afp/ussciencephysicsinvisibility;_ylt=AqVsyx7SSOdGOAuT C4In1lfMWM0F

yeah, bush can't do nuttin right:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070407/ap_on_bi_ge/economy;_ylt=Ap.3dMvSkVFms8hriwZ4qAnMWM0F


this is a rip-off:
http://www.nbc5.com/travelgetaways/11553589/detail.html


and finally, does anybody need a big house?
http://www.wjactv.com/mostpopular/11565782/detail.html

[hitekredneck]

ok...be warned....this is pretty fuckin disturbing...even to ME! :eek:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0405071drag1.html

[something]

ok...be warned....this is pretty fuckin disturbing...even to ME! :eek:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0405071drag1.html

Ooookkkkk...wow...ehh...urrrrmmm... What more is there to say?

[hitekredneck]

Ooookkkkk...wow...ehh...urrrrmmm... What more is there to say?

yeah...kinda leaves ya speechless, don't it?...like the kindest bud through a gravity bong...:D but in a not so good way

[starry123nights]

here's my contributions for the day:

invisibility is possible:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070406/sc_afp/ussciencephysicsinvisibility;_ylt=AqVsyx7SSOdGOAuT C4In1lfMWM0F


This is pretty amazing to me. Talk about sneak attack.

[MrJim]

here's my contributions for the day:

invisibility is possible:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070406/sc_afp/ussciencephysicsinvisibility;_ylt=AqVsyx7SSOdGOAuT C4In1lfMWM0F
http://www.wjactv.com/mostpopular/11565782/detail.html

De ja vu... I somehow remember seing this exact same story a long time ago... pretty awesome nonetheless.

[hitekredneck]

De ja vu... I somehow remember seing this exact same story a long time ago... pretty awesome nonetheless.

sorry if i repeated a former post...i just puts em as i finds em...:)

[MrJim]

sorry if i repeated a former post...i just puts em as i finds em...:)

No, I think I saw it on my own already, reading the news site.

[hitekredneck]

did ya know about these guys? :D
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070412/od_nm/dutch_hellsangels_dc;_ylt=AonRzlsWr39U3LbBMg9IMJHM WM0F

[something]

did ya know about these guys? :D
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070412/od_nm/dutch_hellsangels_dc;_ylt=AonRzlsWr39U3LbBMg9IMJHM WM0F

Nah, don't really care.

I saw it on the news and it didn't appear to affect me at all, so...
Nah, don't really care

[hitekredneck]

it's a new one on me, anyway :D
http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/thejournal/regional/tm_headline=fear-and-remorse-over-party&method=full&objectid=18911590&siteid=50081-name_page.html

[hitekredneck]

omfg :eek: stay away from japanese toilets!!!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18131541/ :eek:

wish i had a translation for this...dunno if it would help, tho ;P

[something]

omfg :eek: stay away from japanese toilets!!!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18131541/ :eek:

Shit. NowIget the reason to why you not should pour gas in the drain.

In casesomeonesmokein the bathroom...:D

[hitekredneck]

i just cannot explain this one... :o
http://www.yikers.com/video_pimp_my_ride_-_russian_style.html

[hitekredneck]

i dunno if it would help, tho...gotta say that the lady is pretty cute :D
http://www.yikers.com/video_balloons_send_midget_to_stratosphere.html

[something]

i just cannot explain this one... :o
http://www.yikers.com/video_pimp_my_ride_-_russian_style.html

I guess I missed the point causethis computer sucks and I could only see picture by picture.

Was there anything more then four guys driving an orange..."car"?

[hitekredneck]

I guess I missed the point causethis computer sucks and I could only see picture by picture.

Was there anything more then four guys driving an orange..."car"?

yeah...let's just say that the car was extremely flexible :D

[something]

yeah...let's just say that the car was extremely flexible :D

What ever, I can watch it when I get home.

[hitekredneck]

at least their government shows SOME common sense!!! :D :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070420/od_nm/dutch_coffeeshop_odd_dc;_ylt=ApiYxkptaON4ySGaIJsH0 rHMWM0F

[hitekredneck]

does anybody here remember the mary celeste?
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/ghost-ship-found-off-coast-of-australia/20070420073509990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001
doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo...(theme to twilight zone :D )

[hitekredneck]

dammit...i knew i shoulda kept up with my tarot cards!!! :D
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=449652&in_page_id=1770

[hitekredneck]

uhh...first off, i apologize to anybody this offends, but i know the guys are gonna love it...dammit, this would make me hang out at bike tracks all day long...:D
http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1132

[hitekredneck]

esp with a hummer!!!! :D
http://videos.caught-on-video.com/recentvideos/0/54ae84c0-244e-4d2d-b802-990301688ede.htm

[something]

at least their government shows SOME common sense!!! :D :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070420/od_nm/dutch_coffeeshop_odd_dc;_ylt=ApiYxkptaON4ySGaIJsH0 rHMWM0F

Of course a smoking ban wouldn't stop it at all. Pot smoking is one of this nations proud traditions.

Oh BTW, about that max 5 g law... It aint many following that. At least not me :D

[hitekredneck]

Of course a smoking ban wouldn't stop it at all. Pot smoking is one of this nations proud traditions.

Oh BTW, about that max 5 g law... It aint many following that. At least not me :D

yeah, i can just imagine! :D :p

[General Septem]

esp with a hummer!!!! :D
http://videos.caught-on-video.com/recentvideos/0/54ae84c0-244e-4d2d-b802-990301688ede.htm

Damn, and they're saying they might press charges on the victim for not licking his wounds and sulking in the corner while the police take care of his needs... :mad:


Good job, I like hearing about real men like this. :D

[hitekredneck]

Damn, and they're saying they might press charges on the victim for not licking his wounds and sulking in the corner while the police take care of his needs... :mad:


Good job, I like hearing about real men like this. :D

i love it...but of course the crooks are gonna sue him, and unfortunately they'll probably win, but dammit, i get tired of hearing about victims all the time...people really do need to start standing up for themselves instead of being victims and sheep :cool:
this was probably my second fav story today :D

[something]

i love it...but of course the crooks are gonna sue him, and unfortunately they'll probably win, but dammit, i get tired of hearing about victims all the time...people really do need to start standing up for themselves instead of being victims and sheep :cool:
this was probably my second fav story today :D

And your #1 fav today?

[General Septem]

And your #1 fav today?

I'm betting the Amsterdam story. Nothing beats dope after all. :D

[hitekredneck]

And your #1 fav today?

this one:
http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1132

[hitekredneck]

i think this dad is one of the best! :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070419/ap_on_fe_st/drug_sign

[something]

i think this dad is one of the best! :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070419/ap_on_fe_st/drug_sign

Smart punishment. He shouldn't be dealing with illegal drugs in his age. :D

[hitekredneck]

Smart punishment. He shouldn't be dealing with illegal drugs in his age. :D

hell, he shouldn't be messing with any drugs... ;)

[hitekredneck]

Smart punishment. He shouldn't be dealing with illegal drugs in his age. :D

but do ya think it'll do any good?:confused:

[something]

but do ya think it'll do any good?:confused:

I don't know. Hope so, but if he know already tried the odds are good that he will continue.

[hitekredneck]

I don't know. Hope so, but if he know already tried the chance is high he will continue.

HEHEHE...YOU SAID HIGH :D :D :D :p

[something]

HEHEHE...YOU SAID HIGH :D :D :D :p

Mybe I typed it wrong, but my point is that the odds are good.

[hitekredneck]

Mybe I typed it wrong, but my point is that the odds are good.

i understood yer point...but i still gotta laugh about it! :D

[hitekredneck]

man, this is harsh :D
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm
i'ld just do the dishes myself :eek:

[hitekredneck]

this is another reason i'm glad i leve here...this is fuckin ridiculous :mad:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/6595037.stm

[something]

man, this is harsh :D
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm
i'ld just do the dishes myself :eek:

WTF :D

No god idea, what so ever :D

[hitekredneck]

WTF :D

No god idea, what so ever :D

agreed...i don't like pain that well, i'ld rather pay the bill...lmfaooo :D

[chihuahua236]

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

[something]

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

LOL:D Funny shit.:)

[chihuahua236]

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

He asks the first nun Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???

The nun giggles and replies, Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.

St Peter asks the next nun the same question Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis..

The nun is a little reluctant but reply's Well I once fondled and stroked one..

St Peter says, OK dip your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate...

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush???

The nun reply's If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!!!

[hitekredneck]

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

He asks the first nun Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???

The nun giggles and replies, Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.

St Peter asks the next nun the same question Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis..

The nun is a little reluctant but reply's Well I once fondled and stroked one..

St Peter says, OK dip your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate...

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush???

The nun reply's If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!!!

hey, now...i find this extremely offensive...and the reason is...
.....
....


......


keep goin...
....


...
...
.....
....


...

....

.....
the reason is....



everybody knows that priests only go fer the alter boys!!!!:D :D

[chihuahua236]

hey, now...i find this extremely offensive...and the reason is...
.....
....


......


keep goin...
....


...
...
.....
....


...

....

.....
the reason is....



everybody knows that priests only go fer the alter boys!!!!:D :D

true,true:D

[chihuahua236]

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her.

He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"

"Why Yes, that would be nice," the lady responded.

Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina.

When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no," said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

Well, our gentleman was setback a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. When he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, "Would you like a smoke?"

"Oh my goodness no!," said the woman "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did."

Our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn.

He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ahhh . mmmm how would you like to stop at this motel?"

"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation.

The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast U turn right then and there and drove back to the motel and checked in.

The next morning after a wild and passionate night, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What have I done?

He shook her awake and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them. 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time'"