Funny stories?

[Ausinus]

So anyone got a funny story or two to share?

Here's one. It really happenned

We were at school one day, and then the Vice Principal called an emergency assembly. We thought it was some big thing but he got up and said in his big nasal voice "I would just like everyone to know that while I was in the teacher's lounge yesterday, someone slipped into my office and stole my gold pen. If the person who stole this pen does not return it by this afternoon, then I will have to call the police." So then the next day at normal assembly, he gets up and says "i'd like to thank the person who returned my gold pen, but if they could just return the computer monitor they stole while putting back the gold pen then we can call it even."

:D

[yea_thats_right1]

haha... that was funny... heres one for ya

one night..Kevin,a friend of mine, was telling me about these woods down the street from his house. He told me they were haunted, and people were murdered in them blah blah bhal... so i called him on it and trying to sound fearless i said 'come pick me up and ill show you how un-scary they are!' So he came and we got there ( the scene was like right out of a horror movie, mist/fog full moon.. the whole 9) and we started to walk towards the tree line i said "see? not scary at all!!" at that point i swear to god i heard someone whispering so i whipped around and said "ok we can leave now!" As we started walking up to the car out of the fog this picinic table (which was standing up long ways) fell over right infront of me and this guy in a ski mask starting coming at me!!! So i started to scream like every obsinity in the book... some of which i have never heard before.. turned and ran like hell into the woods lol.. where of course i tripped as every blonde girl in a horror flick does... and as i looked back.. worried kevin didnt make it.. i saw him face to face with the scary guy... high fiving eachother. i was pissed. I will get him back one day... i just havent come up with anything good enough yet...

[Ausinus]

Haha thats funny. Hes so mean lol

Why dont you tell him a story about a feminist murderer who cuts men's balls off and then come into his room with a mask and a pair of switchblade ruding the night? :D

[yea_thats_right1]

HAHAHAAAAAA thats great... ill have to give it a try..lol..

[ajk]

I have one, actually sort of a series of them. They all happened on the same day. It was my second day of college, and I had the worst day ever. It started in economics. I don't remember what I said now, but it was pretty dumb I can recall.

Then later in my speech class, I was sort of half asleep, half awake as the teacher was lecturing. All of a sudden for whatever reason, I snapped awake, raised my hand and said: "The food?" So that was pretty embarassing but it only got worse from there.

I went to my engilsh class ended up leaving, and switching out of the class (that's a whole other story in and of itself). As I was standing in line to get it switched, I looked at my watch and it read 1:05. I'm thinking: "That's odd, how can it be 1:00 when it was only about 11:30 a little while ago?" But nevertheless, I switched the class, and hurried over to the cafeteria for lunch before my Journalism class at 2.

I ate my lunch, boxed up what was left of it and headed on my way. As I was leaving, you know those windows that don't look like windows? They're clear and you almost seem like you could walk right through them? Well I saw what I thought was such a clear spot near the entrance, and figured I'd walk right through. Well I'm getting closer and closer, and suddenly BOOM! What I thought was a clear space to walk through, was actually a window. Embarassed, I went on to look for my journalism class.

I could not find it for the life of me, I walked around searching, asking for help finding the room. Finally I find the place, and wouldn't you know it the door is locked, and the room inside is dark. I had no idea what was going on. Then I look at a clock, and it reads 1:00. What had happened was, I had misread my watch to read 1:05, when it actually read 12:05. So after all that, I was an hour early!

Later I was in the class, and I realized I had left my food in the cafeteria, and then to top it all off I was walking away getting ready to go home, and as I did it began to rain! One of the worst days ever, nothing went right.

[Ausinus]

Wow, what a shitty day.

[yea_thats_right1]

bummer........ :(

[something]

I got one, it's true, it happend to a friend of mine.

He was on a diet, and one day he found a bucket of ice cream in the store that contained 40 servings, but only 125 calories. He bought the ice cream and eated it when his wife come home had he already eaten the entire bucket.
"Hey", she says when she sees the empty bucket, "´weren't you on a diet?"
"Oh, it's okay, it was only 125 calories in it."
"I don't belive that." she says and check the bucket. It turns out that the bucket contained 125 caloties per serving...:D

[Ausinus]

Haha lol :D

[MrBirdy]

So anyone got a funny story or two to share?

Here's one. It really happenned

We were at school one day, and then the Vice Principal called an emergency assembly. We thought it was some big thing but he got up and said in his big nasal voice "I would just like everyone to know that while I was in the teacher's lounge yesterday, someone slipped into my office and stole my gold pen. If the person who stole this pen does not return it by this afternoon, then I will have to call the police." So then the next day at normal assembly, he gets up and says "i'd like to thank the person who returned my gold pen, but if they could just return the computer monitor they stole while putting back the gold pen then we can call it even."

:D

LMAO, i think i would keep the pen though, becouse it is a symbol of power....

[who897]

Anyone ever been thrown off the back of a ship while doing mantainance on a firefighting pump on the fantail in the Gulf of Mexico? Let's just say 150psi and 250 gallons a minute out of a 2 inch hose has enough force to throw an unaware 180lbs guy 8 feet over a railing into the drink. MAN OVER BOARD!!! Talk about some scary shit, at least the water was warm, there weren't any sharks and it was daytime w/ a shit ton of people on deck.

[yea_thats_right1]

nope cant say that i have... but... LMAO none the less