favorite jokes

[hitekredneck]

i know from the short time i've been here that there's gotta be some good jokes between all of you. here's one that my mother-in-law told me:

Little jonny went fishing with grandpa one day. As they were getting the boat in the water, grandpa gets out his chew and puts a plug in his cheek. Jonny says "hey gramps, can i try some of that?" Grandpa looks at him and asks "well, boy, is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" Jonny thinks for a moment and replies "no, grandpa, it ain't" Grandpa tells him he just ain't big enough yet. A couple of hours on the lake in the bright sun made grandpa pop the top of a cold beer and start drinking. Jonny again asks if he can have some, with the same result..."is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" "no, grandpa..." sighed jonny. A couple ofmore hours go by. Jonny takes out a bag and starts eating some huge cookies. Grandpa looks at him an says "hell, boy. hand over a couple of those cookies!" Jonny looked his grandpa in the eyes and asked, "well, is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" Grandpa puffs out his chest and proudly states "hell, yeah it is!"..still looking him in the eye, jonny replied....
now tell me you didn't see this coming...:D
"well, you can go fuck yerself, cause gramma made these for me!!!!":cool:

[something]

i know from the short time i've been here that there's gotta be some good jokes between all of you. here's one that my mother-in-law told me:

Little jonny went fishing with grandpa one day. As they were getting the boat in the water, grandpa gets out his chew and puts a plug in his cheek. Jonny says "hey gramps, can i try some of that?" Grandpa looks at him and asks "well, boy, is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" Jonny thinks for a moment and replies "no, grandpa, it ain't" Grandpa tells him he just ain't big enough yet. A couple of hours on the lake in the bright sun made grandpa pop the top of a cold beer and start drinking. Jonny again asks if he can have some, with the same result..."is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" "no, grandpa..." sighed jonny. A couple ofmore hours go by. Jonny takes out a bag and starts eating some huge cookies. Grandpa looks at him an says "hell, boy. hand over a couple of those cookies!" Jonny looked his grandpa in the eyes and asked, "well, is yer pecker long enough to touch yer butthole?" Grandpa puffs out his chest and proudly states "hell, yeah it is!"..still looking him in the eye, jonny replied....
now tell me you didn't see this coming...:D
"well, you can go fuck yerself, cause gramma made these for me!!!!":cool:

Haha LoL:D I know one. It's not especially fun but it's the only one I got right now.

The boy asks his father if he could get married with his grandma.

"Of course not," his father says," that's my mother!"
"But you married my mother!"

[gunrunner]

Here is a bunch of little johnny jokes for you.
http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16/little_johnny.htm

[Ausinus]

You have to be a bit knowledgable about chemistry to get this one.

Little Johnny took a drink
and then he was no more
For what he thought was H20
Was H2SO4.

:D

[hitekredneck]

You have to be a bit knowledgable about chemistry to get this one.

Little Johnny took a drink
and then he was no more
For what he thought was H20
Was H2SO4.

:D
verrry good...now how bout some riddles....anybody?:D :D

[Ausinus]

A man had twelve toothpicks in front of him. He took one away. Now he had nine in front of him. How is this possible?

[MrBirdy]

ok, this one will bring out a "WTF" in a few people:

Little billy, while walking to granma's, sees a sign that says "magic show."
Arriving at grandma's, he asks her "grandma, whats magic?"
Granda says "Well, i dont know, why dont you ask your grandpa?"
So billy proceeds to asking his grandfather "Grandpa, whats magic?"
Grandpa says "go to that fence outside and ill show you..."
billy goes outside, and leens against the fence outside.
then grandpa comes up, and says, "here is a magic trick..."
"it feels like i put my thumb on your butt, right?"
billy replies "yes!!"
then granpa sticks his thumbs up and says "see magic!!"

[Ausinus]

Was the grandpa a catholic priest?:D

[MrBirdy]

Was the grandpa a catholic priest?:D

Im not sure, but he was atleast catholic, im sure of that...

[hitekredneck]

was billy an alter boy?

[MrBirdy]

was billy an alter boy?

Grandpa wishes!!

[something]

I've got one, it's probably going to piss of most amercans, but I say it anyway:

Amercans cross the southern border to buy fuel, food and alcohol cheap in an underevolved country, and canidians do the same thing!:D...:o...:( (sorry...)

[MrBirdy]

I've got one, it's probably going to piss of most amercans, but I say it anyway:

Amercans cross the southern border to buy fuel, food and alcohol cheap in an underevolved country, and canidians do the same thing!:D...:o...:( (sorry...)

LOL
True, very true aboot what canadians do...

[Myshele]

Im not sure, but he was atleast catholic, im sure of that...

how naive...