Fucking Mormons at the door

[freakazoid]

Anyone experienced in fucking with Mormons at the door?

[Zzyzx]

Show up with some chew in your mouth and a bottle of whisky in your hand. Fling open the door and shout, drunkenly, "What the hell do you want?" Be sure to spit a huge wad at their feet afterwards.

[beelzebub]

I really have a problem with proselytizing. Usually I tell them that I am a confirmed atheist (truth) and that I have no time for their fantasies and wishful expectations upon death. Mostly they are aghast and try to reason. I have no patience and shut the door (not slam). Honestly if someone spoke to me in such a off standing way I wouldn't waste my time or spirit
Obviously brainwashing has its benefits --> endurance!

[sucks to be you]

Buy a copy of the true Satanic Verses, not some cheap devil worshiping satanic ritual book, but the actual book itself, and then match them scripture for scripture. You'd be suprised yourself at how much of it is down to earth and morally sound as compared to what the popular misconceptions are. Either way they are bound to get frustrated before you get bored of the game and they won't likely come back.

[freakazoid]

Was thinking about coming to the door naked and offering them a slice of pizza. Not sure what is worse, mormons at the door or TV evangelists (dicks like the cat named Benny Hinn) after social secuity checks from old ladies. Freaking nihilists, nothing ever changes! :cool:

[Deez_nutz]

I get this shit all the time with Jehovah Witnesses. What I did once is put some pistachio pudding in my mouth (or anything green like pea soup), put a zip lock baggie with a little water in it and a small hole and put it in my pocket and have my hand in my pocket at the same time. Go answer the door and start spewing the pudding and release the bag and let it look like I am pissing myself. It was funny as hell. Of coarse when I did this, my brothers were over and we were drinking, but it was a classic.

[this_is_bullshit]

Anyone experienced in fucking with Mormons at the door?
My Dad's old roommate Craig used to keep a copy of their "Watch Tower" pamphlet at the door, so when they came, he would stick it down the back of his underpants, between the cheeks & then ask them for a new one, when they went to hand it to him, he pulled the old one out & said something along the lines of, "Great! I needed a new skid mark shield!" Then slam the door, laughing maniacally.

I don't think he did this often, as I bet the Mormons didn't come back anymore after the first time.

(Is it Mormons or Witnesses that do the Watch Tower? Either way.... L O L)

P.S. Nothing against these guys, just funny stuff I have heard.

[Korono]

Fucking Mormons at the door? Well, that's pretty rude. I invite them in for tea or something first.

[freakazoid]

My Dad's old roommate Craig used to keep a copy of their "Watch Tower" pamphlet at the door, so when they came, he would stick it down the back of his underpants, between the cheeks & then ask them for a new one, when they went to hand it to him, he pulled the old one out & said something along the lines of, "Great! I needed a new skid mark shield!" Then slam the door, laughing maniacally.

I don't think he did this often, as I bet the Mormons didn't come back anymore after the first time.

(Is it Mormons or Witnesses that do the Watch Tower? Either way.... L O L)

P.S. Nothing against these guys, just funny stuff I have heard.
LOL, way cool! :D

[freakazoid]

Fucking Mormons at the door? Well, that's pretty rude. I invite them in for tea or something first.
And then...? :rolleyes:

[Korono]

Dude... Mormons have got some crazy fetishes.

[freakazoid]

Dude... Mormons have got some crazy fetishes.
Yeah, like showing at my door in goofy "men in black" suits (sans the jacket most of the time) trying to get me to join their bullshit cult. Yup, that is a crazy fetish along with all of the other crap they do in their temples. :eek:

[General Septem]

One time my dad was refinishing a piano in the garage and they came up, so he said "you better stay away, you'll get your suits messed up", and he started being really messy with the stripper and whatnot. So they left, and came back a few months later and said "how did the piano turn out?" lmao

[hkdbadreligion]

Not recently. Didnt know there were still people dumb enough to be mormon.

[Wiljas9]

Every single one of you is a moron. Why you even wanting to waste your time messing with mormons? You know they all hate knocking on doors anyway. Stop being an ass and just say your not interested. if they persue it further close the door and walk away. You don't need to waste your time or anyone elses.

[Paisleyspeaker]

Some of them will do almost anything to get you to keep listening, so why not put those strapping young men to work, eveyone has some yard chore they need done. Have them bring out the trash, weed the garden, edge the yard, one preaches while the other works. It's cheaper than hiring someone.:D

[freakazoid]

Some of them will do almost anything to get you to keep listening, so why not put those strapping young men to work, eveyone has some yard chore they need done. Have them bring out the trash, weed the garden, edge the yard, one preaches while the other works. It's cheaper than hiring someone.:D

Damn good idea! Tomorrow I'm calling my local Mormon hang out (I think they call the damn thing a "Stake") and inviting them over. :D

[MrBirdy]

I hat them!!
They force their religion upon me!!