Monica: The True Story :D

[Ausinus]

Monica Lewinsky. The Intern, the Legend.

She was an all-purpose device originally installed in the White House by then-President Bill Clinton. Deliberately chosen for its plainness, the Monica Lewinsky once in use in the Oval (not "Oral") Office (not "Orifice") nevertheless became famous and had to be discarded.

Among other functions, Monica was:


A convenient container in which to store cigars to keep them moist
A fast-acting oral stimulant
Multi-functional vacuum-cleaner
A handy tissue substitute
A good role model for future interns in the White House
Jewish


:D:

[theicidal maniac]

Oh Snap! You forgot "Cum Dumpster." But bravo, quite intrepid reporting my good man

[Ausinus]

Oh Snap! You forgot "Cum Dumpster." But bravo, quite intrepid reporting my good man

Thank you very much. :D Except it belongs to Uncyclopedia.org

[Ape-Shit]

You know Bill was a multi talented Musician. In addition to him playing the Saxophone he played the Whore Monica....!:p

[General Septem]

Good Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing

[freakazoid]

Good Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing

Ha ha!! Amen!! http://forum.bullshit.com/images/icons/icon14.gif

[MrBirdy]

You know Bill was a multi talented Musician. In addition to him playing the Saxophone he played the Whore Monica....!:p

She was probably a good dancer too, as he knew how to do the five finger tango

And lets not forget Clinton who could play a good solo on the devil's flute